Thursday, October 7, 2010

New Harvest Moon

The New Moon's void is upon us once again... A unique cycle which begs forgiveness.... the old hurts, sharper edges...impetuous reactions.. wish to find a new way. Yes, this is what the stars and planets set the stage in our experiences to align to.. Feelings brewing like a cauldron of healing herbs...like a soulful soup that will warm even those hardened places in our hearts where we have forgotten that love's waters dried and we don't even remember why...

But this is your time.. your time... to allow the mishaps, mis-communications, mis-placed compassions, misunderstandings to gently seep up to the surface.. for the time of healing griefs and pains which were not given the freedom to express themselves in the highest vibration are seeping up from their dark cob webbed corners, pouring out from their over stuffed trunks, and seeking to be transmuted into use-able energy again.. Those unhealed parts that are outmoded and no longer useful will begin to stir and churn.. inviting you to find a new way... a better way... a peaceful way....

The thing is.. the most fantastic beautiful thing is.. healing past is not contingent on reliving the hurt, hashing up the old for review so your ego and intellect can decide if there is worth or value in letting it go... See.. the value is in allowing it go regardless if one has earned your forgiveness.. whether or not the hurts are mended, or if you have earned your own forgiveness.. whether or not you understand it... it does not require your analyzing or your ego's imput... but it does require one thing... It requires your Surrender... Yes... We are talking Free Will...

When working with clients on release... I have seen so many miracles over this one small realization. You do not have to be ready.. but you must be willing.

LET IT GO.. give it back to your Creator in a simple, heart felt way.. Be willing to admit that you do not know how to heal these pains/hurts.. that you may not know how to be ready...but are willing to be MADE ready.. which happens through your Surrender. The amazing thing about letting go.. giving this back to the Essence that will heal you, brings in the mirror reflections to give your experiences to match this healing through your joy now into of through pain.. Yes, you will have new experiences that will show you that you do not have to hurt to heal this.. you do not have to have your greatest fears presented to you so you can prove yourself now strong enough to face it better this time.. The lovely part is that it is no longer about conquering it, it is about being presented with better options that reflect a kinder, gentler scenario... with the qualities that are smoother and softer within you and in the people who you will be working through these healing issues with..

Does this mean, I think in the next month all your deepest shadows will be arising for healing awareness to blow them out of your energy field? Smiles, NO.. It does mean that this New Moon reflects a surge of support for the healing to begin.. And just as the moon waxes and wanes, tides rise and fall, so do our own cycles of healing. So tonight marks a beginning on whatever level your mind, body and spirit are ready for to initiate and welcome a new cycle of healing for you..

Remember to Surrender into its possibilities by offering the helm of your life journey back to your Creator.. and you will begin not only a cycle of healing but of many new beginnings.. These new beginnings flourish as you continue to let go the the reigns .. Life will flow, and you will feel the peace of stepping into the support of the Cosmic highway...

So let the unraveling begin..
Namaste~ Aloha~ Oceans of Love

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Eyes of Time


There is nothing you have missed. Everything that is yours comes to you... your great LOVE awakened Soulfire that burns within you knows its counterpart.. Know this as real.. has always been real and remains So.
Wait not for what you think you may have lost, lingering in but a memory... All that is yours is forever yours.. It has left you not.. it remains part of you.. not all of you..a mere building block...pieces layered upon pieces, mirror reflection begging for healing.... aspects of the whole of which you are in your entirety.. shadows and light filters through timeless distortions, laden baggage, in need of understanding, refining, forgiving, a smoothing of layers..light lifts out of shadow like cream separates away from the milk and floats to the top.. so your light aspects seek your own rising, lifting out of the heavy burial clothing of your dimmer realities and into the light gossamer veils readying itself for lifting in sacred chamber of your Heart...

For you are a masterpiece delicately entwined with the Other.. layers of your past, falls away~ that which you have wished to be All could never fulfill, for parts can only remain parts, matched in fracture.. what is like unto the Other is known upon its arrival.. without hopeless desire, it simply is.. .. only an empty dream of loss has such expectations, for missed opportunities and misplaced longing.. what is All of you has always been and always will be...it simply IS... Be not stuck in the shadows of what you have wished for.. time has not alluded you.. you have not missed anything.. Be in your now.. Forever you have longed and wished.. over forgotten dreams, missed opportunities, unrequited love, misunderstood, and unrecognized you have waited to be seen.
Now you see you have been but asleep, under layers of time.

Gently the awakened presence of your Soulfire seeps through the windows of time.. Your eternal flame can not be squelched or smothered by your mis-alignments and fractures.. As a temple fire, it is fanned and fueled by your Oversoul... Patiently, your Essence finds you through the channels of Time... gently reweaving your tapestry, repairing your distorted threads and healing your fractures..

Forget not you are a budding blossom in the winds of time.. Your petals stretch out far beyond where your mind seeks arrival... but into the far reaches of imaginings wild and beyond your every desire..

Know that your roots sink deep into a fertile earth pulling you inward... your trunk stretches outward to the great sky beyond.. your branches reach in yearning hunger for the light that begs pour its liquid nectar sinewing sensually down through channels that thirst to be drenched greedily with its light...

You stand solemn, sturdy and strong through the portals of time. Your Essence, limitless unbounded by time and space, complete, unified, One beloved.. One heart, One Soulfire eternal are you...Embrace passion filled, the kundal heart that burns the forever eternal Flame of Union....

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Awakening the Sleeping Giant.. within




Within you lies the most powerful being sleeping under all the layers of experience that makes you, YOU. For centuries, like a sleeping beauty, your true nature's history/her-story gently awaited a precious time when all the layers of the time-continium melt together in an integrated place.. where your hurts, your joys, and all that is you join together in one big burst of energy. Your "spiritual alarm clock" goes of to re-awaken the Divine Self within.

Perhaps not everyone on the planet is exactly in this place that you are, but you ARE. How do I know this? I know because you found this writing. This was written for you to read, for you to find...You know who you are, and those not intended for its discovery will not be drawn to read...This writing is waiting for all the sleeping GIANTS.. yes, giant. You are a spiritual giant...an extra-ordinary loving being who came to anchor love on our planet at a time as the world shifts into a vibration that is so ready and in need to the powerful energy you bring. You hold and anchor in Great LOVE.. so that we can move into these changes collectively..

Many moons ago, you made a contract spiritually to wake up when the world was ready for you to remember the LOVE that you are. The most riddling part of this agreement is that most people who made this agreement forgot they made it.... For many, eons, centuries, decades have passed feeling fractured inside but not knowing how to repair the pieces.. feeling lonely for love, desire to feel empowered but feeling as if an important piece of the solution was just out of grasp.

I realized my life path and reason for sharing my intuitive gifts is recognizing these sleeping compassionate Spiritual giants..and helping them to remember who YOU are, who for so long have anchored a silent peace on our planet... waiting the Great Remembering. These powerful people are usually the ones who have contented in allowing, supporting, strengthening other people's journey instead of focusing on forwarding themSelves...compassionately holding space. And while all this support was perfect for its time.. NOW is your time.. this is your time to find the mighty and magnificent Soul Fire that burns within you... Intuitive are you.. perhaps in a quiet way.. but your inner compass is yearning to have its voice once again returned to itSelf... The time has arrived for your heart to again be your guide. It is your time to say "Thank You" to your mind.. who has thought its way through the ways of the world, analyzed your outcomes, forging pathways, finding solutions built on sound reason. Time is now, to find a proper place for this well organized machine, your Mind, re-arranging priorities so you can place intellect back into its aligned place, which is in your tool box and not at the helm of your ship.

Everything you need to know is not contained within this first message, for this is merely a soft and loving wake up call.. an inner calling of sorts but in written form to say.. "I SEE YOU" .. and the time is now.. take my hand when you are ready.. I am here.. in spirit, in body and in heart.. so much loving heart...

My love to you, Sleeping Gentle Giants, spiritual masters remembering your gifts, your empowerment, your Self Love, and most importantly, the divine Grace ever-flowing with in your Magnificent Hearts...

Your Soul Fire burns in an Eternal Flame~

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Molten Grace

Shrouded are we in layers of experience... veils upon veils... layer upon layers ever so delicately that they have long become so intricately entwined with our ego-ic Self we know not they exist... only that we have become so accustomed to their presence that the god or goddess Self is but a dim memory.
Today in teaching my indoor cycling class I realized that when we reach deep in physical motion... and I mean really deep, something that pushes us to our very limit.. these layers become molten.. When glass is heated, it transforms into the most lovely liquid light. Only to harden again in its fixed form. When we exert our bodies to an extreme, layers peel within us.
At first, it is simply exhausting, but as the physical self integrates the demands being placed upon it.. a resolve sets in. The body gives into the task at hand, and for a time, spiritually it becomes MOLTEN.
I have felt anger and hurt arise in my body when I reach so deep into myself through physical exercise that I feel as if I am melting. In teaching class, especially indoor cycling, I can feel my hardened Self shift as these layers melt away revealing feelings long stored. I see these same changes happen in my students... Often I say, "you are melting" ..and yes, I mean melting fat or melting toxins through sweat.. but I explain that its so much more than this--as I feel frustration build in their bodies or facial expressions...
You see... anger, hurt, frustration, anxiety, low-self esteem are all very real emotions that seem to surface in a simple indoor cycling class. Sometimes I will smile at a student because intuitively I can feel them cussing at me. And later when I ask them, they will affirm that indeed four letter words were running rampant through their head... I smile as I write, yes, at me.. but how great is this? How wonderful that 15minutes of intense exercise can conjure up layers of emotion not easily reached from such a neutral environment.
It is in this place, I discovered how transformative intense physical exertion is for reaching layers of emotion in us that we may not even consciously know are there.
I call this Molten Grace. Where I heat up my body with intense exercise or breath work so extreme, it pushes me through layers of emotional bondage. What lay beneath? GRACE. The most sensual, self assured feminine essence who knows exactly, intimately the powerful being she is...
I question mySelf.. what else is there to pursue except Grace? For in this grace, our Soul love flows through...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

learning to lean into Grace...



... Sweetly stretching my nose out toward a Rose is much like what Striving for Grace on the Inside feels like to me... and now when I say striving or stretching is when I am experiencing a need for alignment on the inside, divinely so.. a remembering really of what I am in Love... how I am created as Perfect.. which my personality sometimes muddles up momentarily... for when I am aligned, no stretching or striving is needed... It simply Is...

I really didn't have a relationship with the religious definition of Grace I learned early on in my formative years.. It wasn't that I agreed or disagreed.... plain and simple, I couldn't relate.... perhaps how it was presented in word alluded me... I am not sure why that is.. and the "why" of why Grace took some time to resonate in me in a way that I felt passionate about its pursuit could have been as simple as timing. ... or not so much timing as It presenting itSelf in a way that I so deeply connected with, any other traditions definition no longer mattered because it began to speak Its unique language in my Soul in a way I sense I was destined to understand.....I suppose how I interpreted Grace as child was something holy beyond simple me and outside my realm of experience.. later I realized while yes, holy as It is, its holiness is something very much part and parcel of who I am on the deepest of levels.. in fact my limited perception of how to thrive in its constancy being my only interruption from its flow, in me, through me, in a way.. It is indeed, creative life force, a kundal vibration... One thing I know for sure, when it began to come upon me, it did so in such a sweet understated way, with such fullness it filled me, I thought that if I accomplished nothing else in my life.. the pursuit of Grace would suffice. I am a being of Love, but it is with Grace that I awaken to its bounty.

I noticed in my early 20's, the notion of Grace began to dance like a beautiful sinewy fabric blowing gentle in fragrant winds like a muse inviting me to co-create. It felt like waves billowing up through my body of something that felt very feminine, very self assured, grounded, but most of all, Loving. It was not something I was polished enough.. or aware enough to invite... It is something that seemed to visit me all of its own doing, many times I thought of how I wished I could beckon it on request.. which certainly is within my realm of possibility... but could I find a way to help navigate it through my energetic pathways in greater constancy? What I began to realize is that Grace billowing through is as far as I could tell, directly linked to Self Love. As my path to remembering the Love that I am expressed itSelf in more knowing ways.. so did my relationship with the Grace within me grew...

I believe each of us has a calling... no matter how simple or ornate. Sometimes our inner alignment to this passion becomes both, Simply Ornate. For me, my inner calling has been a beckoning to know the Grace within Me. It feels this grace inside me is divinely Feminine. The more I marinate in Its Essence, the more I realize for me, indeed It is Divinely Feminine. In fact, the more I basked in Its sweetness.. the more I had thoughts of the Divine Feminine Essence.. Mother Goddess.

In my meditations, I realized since I was a young child, I silently wondered about the Divinity of God. Why was there only a Father God? Actually, I did not wonder too much because my insides told me that someday, I would figure this out.. odd for such a young person's pondering, my insides spoke volumes to me about union of the Divine, Mother and Father, Beloved Counterparts, wedded in Union.. mirroring nature and balance, Sun and Moon, Light and Dark, Love and Fear.. opposing elements which mirror each other in Balance... I remember being five years old and thinking about Divine Union..Ascension.. not grasping at all what I could possibly be trying to understand.. or why these thoughts would pass through my mental processes.. they seemed so random.. they seem to come with conversation.. thoughts with answers.. that seemed to come from somewhere else... who was answers my thoughts.. and where did these thoughts I didn't even understand come from? I began to realize my brain seemed to work differently than everyone else's. Fear of being different and standing out in this way was something which fanned a fire of insecurity in me. I had to find a way to be normal.. Looking back, I see that Grace was finding Its way to me through my spiritual gifts of knowing, hearing, feeling and seeing in some wonderful ways.. but these attributes made me different in a world where I very much wanted to appear the same as my peers. I began at an early age, to regulate its natural channels through me.. fears began to settle..as I realized in many ways I was very different.. I looked for ways I could appear the same....

So as these thoughts came through, I remember thinking, is it normal for me at five to think about such things.. I am not sure why I knew it was not normal.. but I knew it was not normal.. or maybe I knew it was not normal because something in me knew the difference between grown up thoughts and kid thoughts.. and certainly these were not kid thoughts.... I definitely could not talk about these thoughts with my sister a year younger than I.... it was like I had two conversations going on in my head simultaneously at all times.. Later in life, I would understand this as normal for me, even an attribute I valued, but as a kid, this was really difficult to integrate. I remember thinking why am I wondering if this is odd for me to consider this at my age, thinking it odd even that I wonder, it was as if some kind of Oversoul within me was navigating my thoughts as to be thinking simultaneously about Barbie dolls and deep spiritual matters.. having passing thoughts that would override my playful thoughts about dimensions, life after death, alternate realities, even bio-location, you get the idea.. Suddenly, something would interrupt these mind wanderings taking me back to the thought of playing with my Barbie's, again questioning why I would think such things but never being able to focus on its complexity for long enough to question my outer world about it any further.. like incredibly deep thoughts that would soon dissolve into nothing I could remember after it drifted away.... From this very young age though, I began to realize that I would sometimes have to try very hard to appear normal because I soon realized that my sister who I spent a lot of time with... and other children I played with.. did not question such things.. I began to integrate this behavior as something that might be weird or wrong with me, I tried to focus on not allowing it to interrupt my thoughts.. even though I could not stop it, I could ignore it to a certain extent.. I learned how to master allowing both conversations to exist in my head..also, I was raised Catholic and a lot of what I was thinking about seemed to differ from what I was taught was so.... I actually had awareness around my perception of my limitations being a child, not knowing much about anything, and simultaneously pondering the Universe in ways that I knew were odd for a child my age. I never wanted to share this side of myself with the world because I instinctively knew I had this immaturity in my communication...what seemed like a sudden forgetfulness to continue or develop or process these thoughts on a deeper level.... I realized I had no idea how to convey my thoughts for when I went to communicate them, it was as if a giant eraser wiped them out of my mind. I could think about anything I wanted, but I rarely had cognitive memory directly afterwards of almost anything I thought about when it came to this sudden knowing of things-- I seemed to know, and then forget it as if it was never postured in my mind... In someways this carried over to my everyday thoughts as well.. and I had to work on my developing a better recall in what would travel though my mind cognitively.. I had an uncanny memory in someways, and in others, I think I fell way below normal... When I was a child, I had a difficult time remembering what I just read if I read a book... audio memory was fantastic, sight memory pretty darned good.. but simply remembering what I had just learned, super poor at times--which scared me so I would work extra hard to not fall behind...

Denial of my personal Grace probably started with denial of my spiritual gifts as a child, fear of being different -- probably a karmic fear -- which would hinder my ability to love and accept mySelf .. The Universe was gently revealing itSelf to me in uncanny ways early on.. It took me a long time to answer Its Calling so my journey into Grace had to seep through in waves as it found windows in my Energy body to present itSelf... It would be Many Moons before I could realize that surrendering my will over to the Will of the Divine was going to be my personal invitation to beseech Grace to reside in Me...

What does all this have to do with how one reaches their nose into the scent of a flower.. or comparing the sweetness of a blossom to Grace? For me leaning intoGrace is something I strive for...part of how I lean into it is by embracing the places where it came to greet me, but in essence, in fears, I denied its sweet rewards. When we deny our unique individuality, we deny ourSelves a part of our innate value that Self Love brings. Grace travels to us via the highway of the Love that we embrace that we ARE... it reveals through a feeling I am connected to when It flows through me.. It is the most feminine energy I can describe, much like an unassuming flower that is so indescribably perfect by simply embodying what IT is.. that is it... Yet, enveloped fully in this energy, I tap into All that Is. And although I first felt its waves of femininity in my 20's, I realized the knowingness it brings came to me as a little child who was first beckoned to remember Divinity is Masculine and Feminine Counterparts.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Remembering Soul Love...

Spring Equinox
Birth..

Easter Within..
Rebirth...
Resurrection of the Soul.

Once you ascend to the place within where you Remember the Love that You are... a constant flow of Grace will be Yours.. It was always there.. all ways.

The key that opens the door to this memory is Surrendering Yourself completely and fully to ever flowing font of Universal Divine Love. I call it God-dess, One word, embodies both God and Goddess- A complete Union of Masculine and Feminine Divine, Mother and Father Divine, as Beloved unto each other, One. Created in this Union, I AM.

Inside Us is a calling.. it doesn't matter how you hear it.. for if you are open and free.. its language will be Universal inside You. I call it Soul Speaks. It speaks to me through my Grace.

There is this Love inside each of us... and it is not a part of us, it is all of us. When you touch this Essence that is You... forever will you know the beauty that you are... This Blog is about exploring this journey... Your Soul Love is calling you Home through Grace... take my hand.. as we uncover the treasures of our Soul Love on our Journey through Grace....